I Didn't Want To Go
by Roozki
Summary: Stress ? Insanity ? Or something much more desperate, buried deep in the Doctor's brain. Whatever is causing it, the Doctor is hearing and seeing his past companions. Amy and Rory are concerned as the Doctor starts to act strange, and desperately seek out what he is hiding. As things take a turn for the worse, the Doctor realizes someone really didn't want to go.


_**Hurray for first chapter ! Not sure how long I'll make this ( cough cough I haven't written fanfiction before cough ) and yeah the chapters short, but I'm planning on making the rest longer. Until then, I hope you enjoy what I've got!**_

"_Beaches that shine like gold_," Amy jeered, panting for breath, "_a dazzling rainbow ocean, and friendly fish locals._ That's what you said, wasn't it ?"

The doctor nodded, flipping switches and slamming buttons all around the consol. "Trust me Pond, I was just as surprised as you. It's not every day I go looking for a beach and end up being chased by snowmen, although you have to admit, they were quite courteous to give us a run option. _Run or be shot on site_. See ? Most snowmen I come across don't give me that chance."

"Most snowmen_ I _come across", Amy groaned, "don't talk and shoot lasers." The doctor pulled a last switch and the TARDIS shook, signaling their leave. "Fair enough Pond. How about Mr. Pond ? It wasn't all that bad, eh Rory ?"

Rory was still reeling from the laborious run and trying to accept, yet again, this was his life. Snowmen and madmen. "Hm ? I...uh, no, well, yeah. Yeah, it was pretty terrifying." Rory concluded from Amy's side. "I thought we were dead."

Amy chuckled and put her hand in Rory's. "Not while I'm around, stupidface. You're not getting out of this marriage that easily." She kissed him on the cheek and pulled on his arm. "Come on", she smirked, "let's go get some tea. Coming Doctor ?"

The Doctor stood frozen, bracing himself on the consol. His face was contorted into one of confusion and shock, both eyebrows drawn together. Immediately, Amy grew concerned. "Doctor ?", she asked a little louder.

He instantly snapped out of it, all traces of shock vanishing from his face. He looked over to Rory and Amy with a warm smile. "Yes, Ponds ?" Amy studied him in silence for a few moments, trying to pinpoint the sudden mood change. "We were going to put on the kettle", she said, still watching him closely, "and thought you might care to join us ?"

"No, no, that's quite alright," he waved his hands like he was shooing off the offer, "the TARDIS needs a checkup, so I'd better do it now before I forget." He walked up to them, putting a hand on their shoulders and turning them towards the kitchen. "Go, make your tea."

Amy was suspicious of the Doctor's rush to get them out of the console room but decided to inquire no further. "Alright, alright, _pushy_. Come on Rory, let's give these two some alone time." She smirked.

Once Amy and Rory were completely out of sight down the hallway the Doctor sat down against the console. He brought his knees up against his chest and ran one hand through his unruly dark hair. He had heard a voice while Amy and Rory talked in the console, a female voice. The voice had said one word; 'Doctor'.

At first he had though it was Amy. But Amy was already mid-sentence and unless she had two voices, which he decided she didn't, it couldn't have been her. _It's stress_, he decided. _Stress and old age. I am getting up there in years._ But the voices familiarity and authenticity wouldn't leave him alone.

He decided to make true to what he told Amy and work on rewiring some of the TARDIS that needed rewiring, and generally mess around with some of her older components. About five minutes in, he paused what he was doing and climbed out of the TARDIS console. _He was_ _getting one hell of a headache_.

Standing up, he decided to head to his room and maybe get some rest. After all, going two weeks without sleep was pushing it. Even for a timelord. Listening to the beat of his boots hitting the glass floor, another sound sound caught his attention.

He stopped halfway down the hallway and held his breath. Listening intently, he heard it again. _Doctor_. This time the voice was urgent, sounding almost as if it was panicking, and distinctly _not_ Scottish. The first thought that came to his mind, anyways, was Amy. Able to distinguish the voices location he ran hastily down the hall, determined to find its owner.

Amy sat beside Rory at a large oak table in the TARDIS kitchen. She'd always wondered if the Doctor ever used it, and when he'd ever had enough guests over to fill all the vacant seats. She took a sip of her tea and played idly with Rory's hand, examining the ring that bound them for life. (Or until divorce. But she'd already decided that would never happen)

She hadn't even had time to set her cup down when the Doctor came sprinting down the hall. "Amy?" He yelled. "Amy, where are you?" She stood up, knocking her tea over in the process and yelled back. "Doctor, I'm here! Doctor?" She glanced at Rory who shrugged and picked up the spilt tea.

She walked to the kitchen door and stuck her head out into the hallway to see the doctor running the wrong way. "Over here" she yelled, waving her arm back and forth like, someone stranded on an island would wave to a passing plane. He turned around in a tight circle and spotted the red head.

He strode over to join her and Rory looking concerned. "Amy", he glanced around the room as if looking for a threat. Deciding they were safe, he looked like he was at a loss for words. _Now_ _that's very strange_, thought Amy. "How's the tea ?"

"How's the tea ?", Amy asked increadously. "You run in here, calling my name like were in some mortal peril, and you ask how's my tea?" The doctor considered this, marveling at how much Amy could remind her of Donna. Donna? That's something he'd tried to avoid thinking about. Too much pain in that name. And yet, here he was, thinking about her.

The Doctor's eyes became unfocused, and for a moment Amy thought she'd been to harsh. Going by the look on his face he looked quite dejected and miserable. And he still hadn't answered her. "Hello, Doctor ? Earth to Doctor, you still there ?" He blinked rapidly and his eyebrows crinkled in with worry.

"Amy, are you alright ?" He asked with such sincerity she was taken aback. Glancing at Rory, she nodded and looked curiously at the Doctor. "Of course I am", she answered, "why wouldn't I be ?" The doctor readjusted his bow tie and cleared his throat, looking once more around the kitchen.

"No reason, Pond. Just thought I'd make sure. And you, Rory ? How's your tea ?" Rory looked at the Doctor, not expecting to be questioned. "It's... Good." He answered pathetically. The Doctor nodded, seemingly content with this answer, and turned to leave the kitchen.

"Oh no you don't" Amy chided, and grabbed the Doctor's arm to stop him leaving. "Answers. Now." The Doctor turned, confused, and shot a questioning look at Rory. "What seems to be the problem, Pond ?", he asked lightly. Amy let go of his arm and took a step back to examine him. "You"' she said simply. The Doctor straightened his shirt and looked himself over. "Me ?", he asked lamely. "Yes, Raggety Man, you. The whole time we've been back in the TARDIS you've been acting strange. _Stranger than normal_, I mean, and you're really worrying me." She held his gaze to make sure he kept his focus, "So come on, spit it out. What's going on ?"

The Doctor sighed, and decided telling Amy he was hearing voices would only lead to more worrying on her behalf. "Honestly ?", he asked, "I am really, very, _extremely_, in need of a nap." He did his best to smile sheepishly and looked to see what Amy's reaction would be. She gave him one last look over and went in for a hug. The Doctor hesitantly embraced her looking at Rory to give him the okay. She looked up at him and smiled. "You're not to cool for sleep, you know." She said, holding him at arms length. The Doctor chuckled and let out a yawn.

"Alright Ponds, time to get some shut eye. Big,_ big_ day tomorrow, I'm taking you to _Atlantica_! Home of the flying squid and hovorboards, lots of fun. And this time I'll be sure to get us there. Or _near_ there. _Nearly there_, atleast." Rory sighed and Amy laughed as the Doctor shared tomorrow's plans. The Ponds said their goodnight and went off to find their room as the Doctor pretended to go to his.

The doctor didn't sleep that night, as much as his body demanded it. _How could he sleep_ _when the voice calling him was Rose ?_


End file.
